


Mental Breakdown - Breaking the Beast April Fools Non-Canon OneShot

by Fear_Itself



Series: The Death of MrBeast [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: April Fools' Day, Gen, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23919238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fear_Itself/pseuds/Fear_Itself
Summary: rvgouringveqlvuvjsdvkreqavnrjkgadkjvnerkfnerveivnirgunelrueignnriqngeweognwengweoafnwoaefnraofndcjaskefkdsfkjwefkewakfekwafksdknjfnkwegjkdsjkfjkdjksnfjedfsjgkreagdkfgrkgrkfegwoenfrenafjweafewacdkresfregescrewwelnfweoignkdsncjekfsakemfnskaenifosnoekfnxz5123urjfncndsmdnfndbhegriewjkoafeiwnofqNUVREJVQAEIFNEWIUEWFEIAFIUffdrigdigmdjsfhefeirguegunirguwengesurewafawneiwIVGERAOFIESGuejkfdfkbeiveiwoereigunuvreitesigreifioreginmwoirqpwefmefklwefnerkfjanfjxmdfcmksrhbfjdhredfjncceunrfijcdrujnvfujdsiuwerhkweijruhtgfnmdkjihfrtbhnjredfgghrkstg4refwehdbwefhwefegrehrthregerfwefefsefefegregthtregrwegregdfgfngrgwefjknuujeqrubiefqw9qwvehuih3dsvuiojfehbvhuewjvfbhefwudjbverisjdfheruifjvberidscehuidubewofihfwfihfbjaejjenkwfnjfjwirhviwnfikrnjfwjdeuhneejfnjwkqoenjfdfjenrgijnejfndjsjensorhwkfnodnfownodncenofjwofjnrewkfjwodjenigheytarrgireugewigneuwgiwdngeinsdfnewsfeadefwdwnsdjanwfnskjebakebfkekfskfbkdfbkefiefeufuefuefidinsifnrfnwefuefvowtimcjweeirfregnjwiduweinjceijwcjweivneiojwksaneijriewcmweuiakojfuesmofneuiwdkcreisvdfefnejfnifejnefjjnfeejnfhrnenejnejfjekfwjkejfefjnenfjkfioscfimvernfuighsxzfeifnmsaifzoenosfuewfowfnifpsdffkdffensnfeisndfsiiuwaidsdc!
Relationships: Everyone/Everyone
Series: The Death of MrBeast [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630822
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Mental Breakdown - Breaking the Beast April Fools Non-Canon OneShot

**Author's Note:**

> I know April Fools is long past but this was sitting on Wattpad for almost a month and now I'm finally posting it for Ao3 fans! Please note that this is NOT part of the official Death of MrBeast canon. Enjoy :D

"Hey, Alex..."

"Ya?" A few days have passed since Jimmy's surgery, stitches now covering him where the bullets hit. The two haven't talked much, simply their presence comforting each other.

"I just... I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me the past couple of days. I might be... I might be dead if you haven't helped."

"Hey, we're friends. Isn't that what friends do for each other?" Alex replied, a slight small across his face.

"Of course! I wanna make it up somehow though..." He's had this on his mind for a while but now that the moment actually has come, his hands fidgeted. Before he could second guess himself, he went in for a passionate kiss. Taking Alex off guard, he tensed at first but melted into it. Letting go for air, the two were in shock.

"I didn't-"

"No no stop it, I shouldn't have done that. You should go, why did I-"

"Jimmy! It's ok... you've changed my life... in more ways than one." Going in for a second kiss, this time Alex took charge, quickly setting the mood for the evening. This one felt as if it lasted longer and once they let go, they already could predict where this is going. Locking the hospital room door, the lights dimmed magically as if some sort of uncanny force was making this happen. They knew what the fans wanted and what each other wanted. So they did the bleep bloop flip floop shleep floot frick fuuk.

***

From his penthouse, God watched in disgust. When he created the Earth he wanted Minecraft hentai, not... THIS! He couldn't bear to keep his holy eyes on it.

"Hey now, this was not very cash money of society to do to poor ol' Jesus H. Christ!" He shouted in disappointment. His pig wife, Miss Piggie came into the penthouse.

"Honey I'm home from smoking cr- I MEAN SOLVING LIFE ISSUES-"

"Oh welcome back Piggie, I'm not in a good mood."

"What's a wrong sweetheart?" Her voice suddenly turning into Mario for a split second.

"Well, you see. The two protagonists have become a couple. Like seriously. This is NOT my OTP. I ship Jimmy and money. You know, like a logical person."

"There there, it'll be just fine. The universe will interfere somehow!"

"You mean I'll interfere?"

"Ya, whatever I'm high as shit now get in here and make me some mc-fucking salad."

***

The two woke up the next morning, legs intertwined, and for the author's sanity, fully clothed and clean.

"Woah your really good Quackity, are you sure this was your first time?"

"OH, MOST CERTAINLY DON'T QUESTION IT HISSSS!!!!!!!111"

"ok ;-;..." The two decided to lay there for a bit longer until they heard the door open.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" The voice was very manly and sexy. Alex knew who it was. 

"Thanos! You weren't supposed to come until tomorrow!"

"Ya well, I'm here now."

"Wasn't the door locked?"

"Due to plot convenience, the door magically unlocked once arrived!"

"Wait I'm so confused, Thanos from the number 1 box office hit movie Avengers Endgame is in MY hospital room. Explain right heckin' now Quack-ster!"

"Ya Quack-ster... EXPLAIN!" Thanos added, his purple orbs filled with anger.

"Um, I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this if you close your eyes, count to 10, and ignore me leaving the building!"

"I AM HERE!"

"PRESIDENT OBAMA?" Jimmy exclaimed with cheer. Obama [Last name] had kicked down the door and entered, an aura of formality surrounding him.

"No no Obama you weren't supposed to be here at all! Why aren't you on the streets working AS YOU SHOULD BE!"

"Sorry master, I just got worried about your friend."

"Aw, that's nice of you! ...NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Yes, master!"

"No, Obama, stay." Thanos put his large lavender hand firmly on Obama's shoulder, making a shiver go down his spine.

"Mhm..."

"Now that all of you are here, honey explain to me who the hell these other people are!" After Thanos's statement, the room filled with chaos, all three yelling different things at Quackity. A headache rushed in his head and he couldn't help but curl into himself on the bed. It was too damn much...

"OK EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" The room went silent, all eyes on the beanie-wearing boy. "MrBeast is my best friend and fuck buddy, Obama is my side-bitch and a member of my Politician Pimp/Mexican Drug Cartel Scam, and Thanos is my anime husbando. SATISFIED!" His breathing was heavy, the stress hitting Alex right where it hurt. They looked at each other back and forth before turning back to Quackity.

"Hey I'm not upset babe, I just wanted to protect you." The voice was Thanos, now seated next to him. "I don't want a repeat of the Paul's situation. Can't bear to see you that used and broke again, ya know?"

"Oh my God Thanos your gonna make me blush uwu. You're too nice for your own good. I can assure you these people are fine. Obama, Bernie, and the others with the company are all under me. They couldn't rebel if they wished! And Jimmy, well he's too wholesome."

"Well Quackity, how about I find that out for myself." Snapping his fingers, several people teleported in the room. It was Shrek, Barry B. Benson, Spongebob, the spider that bit Spider-Man, and Mark Zuckerberg.

"You need us?" They all said in unison.

"Ah yes... we've got a couple of newbies in the group," Thanos replied, gesturing to Obama and MrBeast. "You two, these are the other members in our polyamorous relationship. If you chose to love us, you'll have to love them to."

"Huh... I AM SO INTO THIS!" Obama added with glee. 

"Jimmy, what about you? ...Jimmy?" Alex was now focused on MrBeast who was just staring off into space, horror written all over his face.

"I uh... I'm... gonna need some... er... I need to lie down somewhere that isn't here." The dazed man stood up and left the room, leaving Alex, Thanos, Obama, and company to their own devices.

"Should we go after them?"

"Nah babe, it's our time now." The lights shut off and once again, the bleep bloop flip floop shleep floot frick fuuk occurred.

***

How MrBeast ended up at this very convenient tall building so fast wasn't the important part. The important part was that his legs were dangling off of it, swinging back and forth to the wind, uncaring to the man's scarred mind. What just happened left Jimmy confused, begging for death more than ever just because it was WEIRD. Something no human was built to comprehend. 

"Regretting your life choices?"

"Immensely, wait who are you?"

"Why I'm God of course."

"GOD! WHY ARE YOU HERE!"

"Well, I also crave death."

"Oh... what happened?"

"Well for one I saw you and Alex fucking."

"PERVERT!" Jimmy pulled a folding chair out of his ass and beat God to death with it. God's body exploded, killing MrBeast as well lolzers.

***

Bonus! Alex got pregnant and the hybrid child of every U.S politician, Shrek, Thanos, Barry B. Benson, Spider-Man, Spongebob, Mark Zuckerberg, and MrBeast haunted the Earth and killed everyone the end lmao.

~~~


End file.
